Best of 2009 cont… did not miss blogging during the holidays – not one little bit! Playing a little catch-up here…

December 24 Learning experience. What was a lesson you learned this year that changed you?

I learned at an even deeper level that I do create my own reality.  I knew it intellectually before – but had not reached the point of knowing it at a cellular level. I have experienced manifesting in my life over and over again this year. I am finally to the place where I can lean into that knowing, trusting that when I send something up to Cosmic Kitchen with love and openness… it does get delivered.

December 25 Gift. What’s a gift you gave yourself this year that has kept on giving?

A Canon Rebel … that’s a really nice camera… don’t worry I didn’t know that until about 9 months ago either, but when I learned it – it changed my life. I used to HATE taking pictures with the point and shoot we had… hated, like a choir, like being grounded to clean my room on a Friday night! Then I used a really good camera and HOLY SHIT! I am in love… truly, deeply, madly, passionately in love!

December 26 Insight or aha! moment. What was your epiphany of the year?

That I am more influential than I thought and there is a responsiblity in that, that I am still exploring.

Gwen Bells #best09 cont… December 9 Challenge. Something that really made you grow this year. That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best challenge of the year for you?

My biggest challenge this year was to stay present and positive while dealing with a deeply emotional occurrence.

At the end of 2008 I chose to end one of my most important, long standing and close relationships after this individual stole a significant amount of money from me and my family. The feelings of loss, anger and betrayal were at times overwhelming. I think in years past I would have let this one thing my rule my life. I would have disappeared into the anger and sadness… stayed locked in my head, fighting the demons of resentment… totally unavailable to my family. I feel so, so blessed to have Fab!Hubby as my partner – he helped me process the data – for me it was so unbelievable, I had to have his help to figure out if I had somehow missed the mark – was I the one who was wrong about the situation. He shared with me that in the more than 10 years that he has known me, he has never known me to ask for or take something that was not mine. I remember that moment so clearly. I remember the feeling of being loved and seen and known by a man I deeply respect and adore. I remember in the moment his love and friendship were bigger than the betrayal. And I decided in that moment I would not let this one very small bit of my life be my life.

I thank Wayne Dyer and Marianne Williamson and Louise Hay and SARK and Deepak Chopra and Bill & Louis W. and Char Tosi and… and.. and… all the people and mentors and authors along the way that helped me consciously chose what I wanted to spend my time and energy on. I chose this year to visualize the pieces of my life like marbles in a jar… hundreds and hundreds of marbles… I can grab a handful and stand in a space of wonder, amazement and gratitude for a new home, soft kittens, beautiful children, FABULOUS Hubby, great job, loving friends, empowered women mentors, and on and on and on… or I select the one marble that represents this specific situation and I can focus on that. I can let this one small marble of life – rule my life.

This year I worked through the challenge of focusing on the good in my life and keeping a deep betrayal and loss in perspective – so well indeed that it took me a bit to even think of it for this post. Some may say that’s just denial – believe me I have not stuffed it up in the recesses of my mind and forgotten it – hardly… I have safe spaces in my life to work on the grief and anger so that when I sit down to dinner with my family I can really hear about their days rather than sitting there not listening, not tasting the food, not being present because I am swirling around in my head, fighting with someone who is not even a part of life anymore.

I thank all the smaller similar challenges I have struggled through before,  I feel blessed to have experienced them, they helped prepare to meet this challenge so gracefully. I thank this challenge for teaching me so much – for helping me understand staying present in moment at an even deeper level. I am still working with this particular challenge… I know I have more grief work to do… and I focus with gratitude on the people in my life who I know will help me do that. And I thank Gwen Bell for asking the question.

This is who I got to visit over the Thanksgiving Holiday… and I am most thankful for it.

I am claiming 2010 as a big year in my life. I am putting together the list of things I want to accomplish… from dying my hair something outrageous… to starting my illustrated book… to getting back to a healthy BMI… the list is just taking shape. 2010 is the year big positive amazing changes will occur.

My sis’n'law posted this video on Facebook this morning and I decided to use it as the tool to help me focus my dreams and lay the foundation for positive change in the new year.

So, this is my plan from now until Jan 1, 2010. I will watch this Visual Affirmation in the beginning part of my day and then tag my day in the comments.

I am open to whatever shift occurs from this experiement… I do know that one result will be a much, much more positive attitude around each day that will grow and frame this next year.

Her Bad Mother has a beautiful and, as always, honest post about her personal experience with motherhood and is leading an initiative to connect mothers around the world with a single blog post per mom.

From The World According To Mom…

Here’s how it’s going to work: this post that you’re reading? Is the departure lounge. I’m going to link to a couple of other mom bloggers here in Canada, and to a couple of mom bloggers from other countries around the world, and they’ll write their posts, sharing 5 things that they love (or maybe what they don’t so much love – this playground doesn’t force conformity) about being a mom, and then they’ll tag a few more bloggers from their own country and from other countries, and so on. And you’re more than welcome to join: just write a post of your own (5 things that you love about being a mom) and find someone to link to and tag – someone from your own country, if you like, but definitely someone from another country (Google is a good resource if you don’t know any; google any country name and ‘mom’ in their blog search function) (be sure to let them know that you’ve tagged them!) – and link back here and leave a comment and we’ll add you to the ‘itinerary,’ which David will compile and post and update as the tour proceeds.

5 things I love about being a mom:

1. The way my heart feels physically heavier in my chest and tears come to my eyes when I really think about how much I love my boys
2. Holding hands
3. That all holidays are magical and mystical again
4. That each encounter with an animal of any kind is like finding a treasure chest full of gold
5. That these precious, amazing, beautiful, gifts from God finds that snuggling with me is the best way to end their day

and…

5 things I don’t like about being a mom…

1. That ever nagging question in the back of mind, “Am I screwing them up?”
2. Wondering if they will remember the times I lost it… hoping they remember the gold star moments
3. That within 10 minutes of cleaning the house it can look like a tornado came through it
4. Whining
5. Fighting in the back seat of the car, in grocery store, in the bathroom, at birthday parties, from separate beds at night in the dark when they are supposed to be asleep, in the…

The next desination:

1. Schipul: Happy Katie
2. Texas: The Bloggess
3. US: Pundit Mom
4. Canada: Attack of the Red Neck Mommy
5. Mexico: Moving Kids to Mexico
6. South Africa: Mccarty’s African Adventures